4 Effective Responses to Intimidation Tactics in Negotiation

4 Effective Responses to Intimidation Tactics in Negotiation

Notes on Negotiation Written by Marty Latz, Latz Negotiation Institute

I remember a time when I was a young lawyer. The opposing counsel, a managing partner at a prominent law firm, swore at me in front of my client. I was taken aback. I had simply requested documents that his associate had promised. My client had flown in to review these documents, which we were legally entitled to. Instead of complying, he chose to intimidate and embarrass me.

However, his tactic backfired. After he left the room, I consulted with my client on how to respond. I then looked up the judge’s phone number, intending to call and compel the opposing counsel to provide the documents. Eventually, he relented after I suggested involving the judge. Unfortunately, this isn’t an isolated incident in negotiations.

Understanding Intimidation Tactics

How should you handle intimidation tactics like swearing, screaming, or belittling comments? First, it’s crucial to differentiate these from gamesmanship tactics. Gamesmanship includes strategic elements like threats, limited authority, and bluffing.

For advice on strategies related to gamesmanship, see my columns on Prepare Yourself to Parry Common Negotiation Ploys and Learning How to ‘DEAL’ With Threats in the Workplace.

1. Don’t Automatically Escalate

When faced with intimidation, avoid responding in kind. Escalating rhetoric or behavior only increases personal animosity and is counterproductive. Instead, take a step back. Consider taking a break to strategize your response.

However, don’t walk away completely. Doing so may give the offender the impression that their intimidation worked. Above all, keep your composure.

2. Recognize Its Extremely Limited Strategic Impact

Intimidation tactics have minimal impact on the negotiation strategy unless you allow them to. Intimidators aim to alter your feelings and actions. Don’t let them succeed.

These tactics do not weaken your leverage or change your alternatives. They don’t affect standards like market value or precedent. In fact, they may serve as distractions from strategic elements that favor you. Recognize this and act accordingly.

3. Account for the Culture

During my time teaching a weeklong Executive MBA negotiation course at Nanyang Technological University in Singapore, I learned about different cultural approaches to negotiation. I watched two videos showcasing two contrasting styles.

In one, Korean negotiators engaged aggressively, while in the other, Japanese negotiators maintained a respectful dialogue. My colleague, a cultural communications expert, explained that different cultures communicate in unique ways. What may seem like intimidation in one culture could be normal behavior in another.

This understanding helped me navigate my negotiation class, which included students from various backgrounds. Always consider cultural context when evaluating intimidation tactics.

4. Respond Strongly and Negotiate How to Negotiate

The saying, “if you give someone an inch, they will take a mile,” rings true in negotiations. Don’t let intimidation deter you. Instead, respond assertively and in a measured manner. Make it clear that their behavior is unacceptable. If you have leverage, such as a strong alternative, consider sharing it.

Try this: pause, maintain eye contact, lower your voice, and communicate that you refuse to engage in similar behavior. Then, negotiate ground rules for the negotiation process. This may be challenging, but it will be worthwhile.

Conclusion: Latz’s Lesson

Some individuals believe they can intimidate you with unprofessional behavior. Don’t allow this to happen. Instead, focus on not escalating the situation, understanding the limited impact of intimidation, accounting for cultural differences, and responding assertively. Negotiate how to negotiate effectively.

Marty Latz is the founder of Latz Negotiation Institute, a national negotiation training and consulting company, and ExpertNegotiator, a Web-based software company that helps managers and negotiators more effectively negotiate and implement best practices based on the experts' proven research. He is also the author of Gain the Edge! Negotiating to Get What You Want (St. Martin’s Press 2004). He can be reached at 480-951-3222 or Latz@ExpertNegotiator.com.

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